Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bands that I think suck.

These are bands that deserve to be called out for their general suckiness. I almost called this list the worst frontmen since so many of them have that going for them. I'm not gonna lie, I've listened to all of these bands on the radio at times and maybe even liked one or two of their songs. I've also watched episodes of The Simple Life but wouldn't call myself a Paris Hilton fan.

Here they are in order of least to most disliked by me.

5. Linkin Park.

I'm sure many people will disagree with me on this based on Linkin Park's popularity, however I stand by my general disklike. This band creates what I call, "pussy rock". They look like rockers, sometimes they sound like rockers, but most of their songs are whiny angst-ridden teenage ballads. "Wah, my girlfriend doesn't love me, I suck at sports and have acne. Wah".  To top it off they helped create the rap/rock genre. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

4. 30 Seconds to Mars

Jared Leto on My So-Called Life = Cool.
Jared Leto as lead singer of pussy rock emo band ≠ cool.

3. AFI

Where do I begin. AFI's lead singer not only has Zac Efron-esque hair that even Zac would say is too feminine but he wears makeup and has a cutesy pie name—Davy Havok. Oooh tough Here are a sample of their lyrics to demonstrate Davy's sexual ambiguity and shitty songwriting; 

He wanted love, I taste of blood
He bit my lip, and drank my war
From years before

Is he a gay vampire or just a confused and love struck vegetarian-emo-rocker? The answer is he's lame and so is his band's craptastic music.

2. Nickelback

(to the tune of Someday, by Nickelback)
How the hell did we wind up famous?
And how were we able
to make songs that are hits?
with our videos on cable.

These guys suck so hard that the lead singer, Chad Kroeger, even sucks himself off! It's true, Google it if you dare. These guys exemplify pussy rock. Their music all sounds the same and is geared towards soccer moms, teenage girls and deaf people. Not to mention Chad Kroeger's lame ass song from the Spider-Man soundtrack was a blantant rip-off of Kiss From a Rose by Seal. If you're going to rip off a song for a superhero soundtrack, don't use another well known song from a superhero soundtrack! Ugh.

1. Savage Garden

First of all, how "savage" can a garden be? Unless it's filled with man-eating plants and killer bees, I don't think gardens are particularly fearsome. Oh how these guys suck. They are like God's gift to easy listening.

That's my list, feel free to comment and agree or disagree.

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